-Grace Tucker-

Grace Tucker Mitchell

June 28th, 2016 at 8:05 PM

7 lbs 8 oz, 20 inches

Grace Tucker. My goodness have you taught me so much already. I'm writing this birth story now and you are already 4 months old (because who has time to sit with two kids?!) But since we found out you were coming into our lives almost exactly one year ago, you have completely encompassed your name and shown us God's mercy and love more than you will ever know. 

Now the story of my life seems to play out the same way. I make a plan for myself and God intervenes, usually to my initial dismay, to show me that His plan is always better. You've heard me say it a million times, and I promise you will hear me say it a million more. You think I'd learn my lesson huh?

I had heard that 2nd labors are usually much different from the first, and boy was I ready for this baby to come earlier! I went 6 days past my due date with Jack and I labored a long 26 hours. It was a peaceful, mostly-pain free 26 hours though. So this pregnancy I was ready for Grace to come a few weeks early, nice and quick, easy peasy right?!

HA! This girl has kept us on our toes since day one, why would that change now?!

I went to my doctor on my due date, and I had zero progression. 

Zero people.

 ZERO. 

That is the absolute last thing a 9-months-pregnant woman wants to hear. I was in shock too because I had been having braxton hicks for months and false labors for weeks. I can't tell you how many times I told Andrew, "I think this is it!" just for my contractions to stop. So we set an induction date for June 28th, a week after my due date. (My doctor later told us she was expecting to send us home on that day since my body was just not ready for labor. Real life.) 

My mom and dad were planning to move to Arizona from Georgia, and the dates just so happened to line up with my induction date (which, once again, we never expected to actually meet.) My mom decided to come up and stay with us the days leading up to my induction, just in case. 

Low and behold, June 28th rolled around and still absolutely no signs of this baby. Andrew headed to work that day while I made sure all of our bags were packed for our hospital stay. I expected we'd head to the hospital around 6 pm, they'd start me on labor-inducing drugs around eight, and then maybe, JUST maybe, we'd have a baby in the next day or two.

I spent that day wrapping Jack in my arms, not quite ready to give up what life looked like to us. Looking back now, I'm so thankful for the extra weeks God gave us as a family of three. I needed every second of it with my boy.

I was in labor here and had no idea!

My mom ran out to the grocery store to make sure our house was stocked with food when we would finally come home from the hospital. I was sitting at our counter, looking up induction stories while Jack played a few feet away. I suddenly had a strong contraction, but didn't think anything of it from all of my false labors before. Eight minutes later another one. 

Eight minutes later, another one.

My mom walked in the door. 

Five minutes later, another one.

Five minutes after that, ok you get the picture.

I looked at her and said, "So. I don't want to jinx it and it's probably nothing, but I'm having some pretty intense contractions."

I could tell she was trying to control her excitement for my sake, just in case it was another false labor, but we were both hoping this was the real deal.

A few more "five minutes" laters and she convinced me it was probably time to call Andrew.

Side note. 

Andrew had answered every single phone call for the past 4 weeks in panic expecting me to be in labor. EVERY single call. That day?! Not a one. He thought I was stressing over him being home on time to get to the induction, and he was trying to finish up everything at work so he could be ready for leave. 

He finally answered and raced home after I told him I thought I was in labor, for real this time.

(Just to remind you, this was my induction date. God's sense of humor yall.)

I called the doctor on call as Andrew packed up our car and she told me I sounded alright, and I could wait a few hours to come in if I wanted. I told her we were already scheduled for induction that night, so we were just going to head in a little early. BOY am I glad we did.

So a little flashback for you with Jack. When I went into labor with him, I labored at home for a long time. Like, 9 hours long. Then we casually drove to the hospital on a beautiful day, sun shining, no traffic. I got my epidural at 4 cm, and then I pushed later for hours until he finally came. No problems. His heart rate was steady, and he came out peacefully without one scream.

Grace? 

Ohhhh Grace. She had other plans. 

We hopped in the car around 5 pm, heading to the hospital. I still wasn't convinced this was the real deal, but the contractions were coming and they were coming something fierce.

By the time we reached the interstate I was having contractions 4 minutes apart. We suddenly were in DEAD STOP traffic as a literal wave of rain started pouring down on the interstate. (I wish we had a camera yall because this whole thing was a tv show just waiting happen.) The wave passed and we finally made it through the craziness to the hospital.

As we started checking in (ok as Andrew checked us in because I was squatting on the floor) my contractions suddenly went to 2 minutes apart. All of the labor and delivery rooms were full, so we were sent to the waiting room to wait.

One of the nurses looked at me and said, "Girl you got this! You're going naturally aren't you. I can tell."

I laughed and smiled but inside screamed: UH. NO.Gimme an epidural and gimme one QUICK.

I don't know what came over me, but I was in beast mode. I would rock my hips and squat and breathe through each contraction like I had been planning a natural birth from the beginning.

But my epidural was my light at the end of the tunnel, soo.....I was ready for that thing yesterday.

Anyways, they finally cleared a room for us and it was not a minute too soon! The nurse checked and said I was 4 cm. There was no sense of urgency from anyone since my water hadn't broken but I knew something was different. As we waited for the anesthesiologist (how many times did I just have to spell check that?!), Grace's heart rate started dropping. They rolled me to my side and stuck me on oxygen. 

My contractions started coming back to back to back.

The computer's decided to crash at this point, and the anesthesiologist couldn't give me the epidural until he got clearance through the computer system. Andrew had to be behind a curtain for safety reasons with the epidural, and I was literally having contractions with no rest between. The nurse grabbed my hands, looked me in the eyes, and told me I needed to get through each contraction or Grace's heart rate was going to be a problem.

All I could say, over and over and over, was "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

I would close my eyes, pray that prayer, and breathe as deep and as smoothly as I could so that Grace could stay steady. And praise Him, she did for the most part.

Well right around the time the computers finally came back on, I grabbed my nurse and said, "OH MY GOSH I HAVE TO PUSH."

She and the anesthesiologist (seriously, that's the 3rd time and I still can't get it right) both yelled, "NO! You can't push yet, you're only 4 cm!" Well, that's a nice thought but yall when the body says it's go time, it's go time.

So I finally got my epidural in and the nurse decided she better check me just in case.

9 1/2 cm.

NINE AND A HALF CENTIMETERS. The baby comes at 10! I basically labored completely without pain meds (God bless you that choose to do that on purpose) but I am oh-so-grateful I didn't have to push without them.

My doctor (who long story short was never called until they saw I was 9 cm. A reality tv show, seriously. Where were our cameras.) Ran in, checked me, and said, "Well then! Let's push!"

I was like, wait what?! Now?! Andrew and I both must have had the craziest looks on our faces. With Jack we listened to the entire discography of John Mayer while I labored. We barely had time this go round to breathe!

Within 3 pushes, Grace was here. She had the cord wrapped around her neck, which is why her heart rate was dropping. But thanks to Jesus and my incredible doctor, 3 pushes got her out safe and sound. She came out screaming, letting the world know she was finally here.

And she was perfection.

I mean it, perfection.

I labored for 4 hours from start to finish. She was born at 8:05 pm, exactly 5 minutes after our induction was supposed to start. Talk about God having a better plan :)

We thought we were complete as a family of three, but that's because we hadn't met Grace. I really struggled with the idea of loving another human as much as I loved Jack, but your heart really does just quadruple in size to hold all the extra love. She is the sweetest, most care free little human, and Jack already protects and adores her like she's always been here.

And I guess she really has. :)

Grace Tucker, I am honored to be your mama. You have brought such a light to our world, and you truly are Grace. 

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not of yourselves. It is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:8

Grace.

As I was cleaning out our junk drawers this morning, I came across our "Congratulations! You're pregnant!" packet from our doctor. I had shoved it in this drawer, almost 7 months ago, not wanting to even look at the words on those pages. Looking at those words made it too real that this baby, this gift to us, might be taken away before life had really begun.

I found out I was pregnant at about 5 weeks. We had been planning this sweet babe, so to say we were excited was an understatement. We waited the long 4 weeks until our ultrasound, finally able to see that sweet little peanut dancing across the black and white screen. Our technician smiled, said everything looked great, and sent us on our way to my doctor. I sent Andrew back to work, saying this would probably just take too long and everything looked great anyways. I bounced into that doctor's office, on cloud nine, dreaming up names and wondering if there was a little girl or boy dancing in my belly.

My doctor walked in, smiled, and said, "So. Things don't look so good."

What?! What do you mean things don't look so good? I just saw the baby! The heartbeat! The technician said! What could possibly be wrong?!

I just stared at her in disbelief as she explained to me that our baby had implanted high in my uterus, basically in the corner, right where the tube enters the opening. She said by the looks of the location, there was a high probability that the baby wouldn't have room to grow, and my uterus would rupture..not only taking away our baby, but taking away part of my uterus with it.

Our baby. The baby whose heartbeat I had just seen beating strong and hard. The baby that was alive inside of me. Our fourth family member.

I was told we would have to wait at least another week to have another ultrasound to see if things had changed. If not, we would have to decide where to go from there.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. Only 9 weeks? Did it really hurt your heart that bad that you could lose this pregnancy that early?
YES.
Nine weeks may seem like a short time, especially in a pregnancy, but every part of those 9 weeks were important and sacred to us. Those 9 weeks held our baby, our child. The second you find out you're pregnant, that life becomes yours. That life becomes reality.

The next seven days were painful, and beautiful. It was this limbo of trying to not get our hopes up, trying to not be excited, trying to not be worried. But you know what else those 7 days held for us? Hope. Grace. We were overwhelmed with love and prayers by the people in our lives. I have never felt more clothed in prayer than those 7 days. I could literally feel the prayers from our friends and family wrapping around us.

God used those seven days to work hard in us. He taught us patience, but most importantly, he taught us that when we have nothing...no control, no answers...we HAVE to press into Him. That was all we could do, lean on His understanding and trust that no matter what, He is for our good.

When I left that first doctors appointment, I locked myself in my car, sobbing into my hands, desperate for any answer. Across the speakers suddenly played,

"Your grace abounds in deepest waters. Your sovereign hand will be my guide. Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You've never failed and You won't start now."

A song I had heard a million times before suddenly became so much more. God held us in His hands long before this, and He would stand beside us, carry us through whatever was coming our way.

After what felt like the longest, most trying week of my life, I headed down to our next ultrasound. I got lost on my way, and I ended up here:

Lover's Circle. 

As I came up the hill and realized where I was, I just surrendered myself to Him. I climbed out of my car, stood on top of that hill, completely alone and completely surrounded by Him all at the same time. I prayed and talked with Jesus for awhile and He held my hands, held my heart, and all my worries melted from my shoulders. Our baby was in His hands, He chose this child for a purpose.

We went into that ultrasound ready for anything.
And we walked away with a gift. With a baby. With a baby, who only by God's grace, had moved from where she had implanted safely into my uterus. There are no words that could even come close to convey the joy and pure celebration in our hearts! God answers prayers, yall. He truly, truly does.

When we were thinking of names, we only had one: Grace. And I know now that Grace, "God's unconditional love for those who don't deserve it", was always who she was meant to be. She is the literal gift of unconditional love that we could never deserve.

That day I sobbed in my car, as God spoke to me through that song, I looked up and in front of me was this:

"Jesus replied, 'What is impossible for people is possible with God.'" Luke 18:27

I don't know what plans God has in store for you baby girl, but you have already turned our hearts further to Him. You have already changed us.You are going to move mountains for His glory.
And what an honor it will be to get to watch you.